


Steve of the Apes

by AnonEhouse



Series: Starvation Sleep-Deprivation Stories [9]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Iron Man (Noir), Tarzan - Edgar Rice Burroughs
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Crack, Alternate Universe - Fusion, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Gen or Pre-Slash, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-23
Updated: 2015-03-23
Packaged: 2018-03-19 07:13:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3601014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonEhouse/pseuds/AnonEhouse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Baby Steve had grown up in the jungle, all alone, but fear not, eventually every bird has his nest, every flower its bee, and every beast its mate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Steve of the Apes

(If you are reading this on any PAY site this is a STOLEN WORK, the author has NOT Given Permission for it to be here. If you're paying to read it, you're being cheated too because you can read it on Archiveofourown for FREE.)

Steve had heard the plane coming in, too loud, too low, and with an ominous stutter in the engine. There was no place suitable to land a big bird in the jungle, he knew that very well. He still bore the scars of his own crash-landing so many years ago. He dimly recalled that he'd been returning home after Dr. Erskine's experimental therapy. He'd been barely more than a baby, and that therapy had been all that saved him, leaving him the sole survivor. The pilot and any passengers of this plane would not have his advantage.

And there were evil people in the jungle. Cannibals and Nazis and Hydra. He checked that his knife was sharp, and put it back in its sheath before grabbing a vine and beginning his journey. Steve was fast, very fast.

 

He heard the Nazis shouting before he reached the crash site, and decided to check on them first. It was a good thing, because they were gathered around a tree, throwing taunts and fruits and sticks up into its branches. There was a mass of white fabric tangled near the crown of the tree and dangling from it was a slender figure, struggling.

Steve's nostrils flared in righteous anger. Nazis were bullies. And... the person dangling like spider food smelled good. Really good. Much too good to let the Nazis have.

He took a strong stance on a wide branch, filled his great lungs, threw his head back and howled. He'd learned it from howler monkeys, but it was _his_ howl, and all the jungle knew it meant that Steve was angry.

The normal jungle noises vanished. The Nazis stopped throwing things while they argued about the noise. Finally, the biggest and ugliest one, the one whose face was as red as a baboon's butt, shouted something that made them all stop looking around and return to the trapped flier. They cut down a small tree and leaned it against the forest giant. Baboon face started climbing the small tree.

Steve was about to kill baboon face when he heard his friend Tantor approaching rapidly. He smiled.

Tantor emerged into the small clearing with his lesser bulls and cows and calves behind him. He trumpeted and they charged forward, trampling bushes, trees, and Nazis into a messy paste in a matter of moments. Baboon face was tough. Tantor had to step on him several times.

Steve swung over to the flier and began cutting the cords holding the parachutist in place. 

"Wait? What? Who _are_ you?" 

Steve pointed at his chest. "Steve." Then he pointed at the flier and raised his eyebrows in question.

"Tony. My name is Tony."

Steve smiled. "Me Steve. You Tony." He finished cutting Tony free and tucked him under one arm. "We go now."

Steve ran off the branch, reaching out with his free hand to grasp a vine. Tony yelled. It wasn't a very good howl. Steve would have to teach him better.


End file.
